First Fourth

Ah, the Fourth of July. This year it was good -- good weather, good food, good company, good times. Niki and Audrey and I were in Mt. Vernon to spend time with the fam, including special guest stars Tim and Hallie. Here's a happy dog and a happy mom:
Much time was spent on the deck, where it quickly became the Niki and Audrey Show...
...with me as mere interloper:
As evening approached, I was curious to see how Audrey -- not the bravest of soliders -- would handle the rockets' red glare/bombs bursting in air, etc. While she's a red-blooded, dyed-in-the-wool patriot, don't get me wrong even for a second, she did kinda beat a swift retreat to the safe enveloping confines of Tim's lap and arms. And then later, she and Julius just flat-out gave up. Does anything say surrender more clearly than this little bit of haplessness?

A hunger for literature

Before I leave for work each day, I set up an elaborate system of cordons and blockades that provide Audrey only limited access to the inside of my apartment (i.e the linoleumed kitchen and bathroom). Over time, that access has progressively expanded, to where it now includes my bedroom. After all, as has been previously documented on this blog, Audrey is a den animal at heart, and I am somewhat obligated not to deny her her penchant for hiding under the bed away from the cruel vicissitudes of life (I mean, we all do it -- why shouldn't she be able to?):

But. So I love to read, right? Reading is practically my middle name, as you know. Loving to read means I love books. Let me paint you a little picture here. Here are some of the books that I love, which are to be found in my bedroom:Audrey, whom I also occasionally love, has recently taken an interest in many of my favorite books as well:While it may seem from the picture above that she's developed a particular taste for Faulker and Salinger, let me assure you that the gremlin is a literary omnivore. So, I hatched a plan. I set out a decoy that she could easily reach...
in the hopes of avoid another repeat performance of this:
And, it worked!
So what do you think? Brilliant, safety-valve of a diversion, or a complete and utterly mixed message?

Maybe she's part Pete Wentz?

Usually, Audrey gets her bath in the bathtub, which isn't so bad for her because the water is always warm. On a hot summer day at my parents' house, though, I decided to introduce her to the garden hose. She knew something was amiss when all my sweet talk about taking a bath wasn't accompanied by the typical sounds of bathwater filling the tub. So first, I had to catch her:

The cold cold water may have been a little traumatic for her, but since I've already included pictures of her getting a bath at the expense of her diva dignity on this blog, I'll show some restraint here. Instead, I offer you this post-bath picture of her sunning herself on the deck (did I or did I not use a hair crimper on her fur?-- you decide):Pretty soon, she got all emo on me. Trust me, she can compete with the most pathetic of them. To wit -- Audrey from the Diva Gremlin blog:Pete Wentz from Fallout Boy: